Softball Haiku over Tokyo

Softball winning streak
finally our time to win
let us go get drunk

- Cameron (via fancy airplane inkernet 25k ft over Tokyo)


We play at 7:15p this week versus the Long Shots (green shirt guys). I watched them a little last week. Their guys prefer the dick move of trying to hit the ball to right field every time.

Karl will be making his return the the team this week after sitting out for violating league rules.

We also won last week a-holes! 9-8. That's two in a row!

Pinata Party This Saturday

The Bulldog Coaching Staff is hosting it's 4th annual summer pinata party in Minneapolis this weekend.

I am in charge of the pinata and drinks. This is all I do and I do it well.

Show up at noon if you want to help me clean the house. Show up later if you just want to hang out.

want more info?
View the eVite

We play at 6:15 this Thursday. Let's keep the streak alive! Read the comment below. It's appears that we have admirers in high places.

10-7 Bulldog Conquers MOMARS

Coach Ando Lost for the Season

I hurt myself in the first inning last week running from 2nd to 3rd base in order to get us a run. I am still walking with a bad-ass gansta' limp.

Yesterday I went to medical land seeking comfort. They told me that I tore some muscles and that I would have to miss the rest of the softball season. They really don't have a treatment for me other than rest.

However they did give me some neat Vicodin pills to help with pain. Unfortunately they make me trip out too much to take when I work, drive, or in school. Saturdays are going to be painkiller day at my house. Bring over your power tools. We'll have some fun.

This Thursday - Picture Day I & The Game of the Year

We take on the hated MOMARS this Thursday at 9:15. If we are going to win only one game this year, let this be the one.

We will be taking individuals photos before the game so get there early. I would like to be there by 8:15 so I can set up my tripod and scout locations. Dress for success, don’t for get we have a Best Dressed category in the Punchy Awards (post-season award ceremony).

Ask Dr. Ioss - Groin Injury

Dear Dr. Ioss,
I pulled a groin muscle last night playing softball? It really hurts. What do I do now?

Coach Ando

Dear Coach,

1) RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation) for about 1-5 days while the swelling goes down.
2) followed by slow return to activity, making sure to stretch and not to return to full activity to fast.

Dr. Ioss

Bulldog Update

We almost won the last game. We lost by 1 or 2. Closest yet. Switch buddies seems to be working. All of this without use of the whiteboard.

We found a new pitcher - Ryan of Leah and Ryan fame is almost a pro. That's how good he is.

I forgot to bring a marker for the whiteboard. Someone bring a backup for me.

Ideas

Sell antiMOMAR goods on Café Press - how about a MOMARS c*m rag?

Picture day - let's have it soon. Probably after a 7:15 game so we still have good natural light. We'll have a couple of shoots so more people are included. Post game photoshoot with Bulldog waitresses.

Ginger - bring my mustache

Pre-game BBQ. Unknown date. I have a mini grill. Someone would have to bring some food. I would bring drinks too.

Bribe the ump with drinks.

I'm having a pinata party in a couple of weeks. I stuff it with beef jerky, mini bottles of booze, and random sundries. My chocolate puddy stuff idea was nixed once again.

Our game is at 8:15 again this week.

Umpire & Fan Brawl in Pickup Game

Associated Press

HILTON HEAD ISLAND, S.C. - The umpire called a player safe on a close play at first base. The spectator didn't like it and threw a beer bottle. The umpire dodged it, then punched the fan, knocking out one of his teeth.

That's what Beaufort County deputies said happened at a three-inning pickup softball game on Hilton Head Island Sunday night.

Tensions between the teams were high because about $3,400 was riding on the outcome, deputies said.

Rony Ruiz, 23, and several other fans stormed the field and began pushing the ump because a run scored on the play at first, cutting the lead of the team they were rooting for to 6-5 in the second inning, authorities said.

After Ruiz threw the bottle at 32-year-old umpire Nelson Montano, he punched Ruiz in the mouth, knocking out a tooth, according to a police report.

The men, whom Montano said are friends, appeared on Monday in municipal court, where they agreed to drop the charges.

And Ruiz's team ended up winning 7-5, Montano said.

- Bulldog lesson learned - don't miss with that first bottle.

Hate It Or Love It

I have a new level of hatred of the MOMARS. I found their team website and I am upset and angry at what I saw. They mercilessly ragged on their opponents and did quite a bit of bragging about themselves. They also publish league standings (it shows us in last place). Worst of all they are trying to proliferate there unholy images by selling "Official Gear" with the MOMARS logo. Check it out: MOMARS Crap.

Who needs a MOMARS thong? Not me. We need to scheme as a team (offline) on how we are going to get them real good. I don't want to go into it further in fear of incriminating myself.